What is Love?

Roger Allington

Certified Lay Speaker

January 31, 2010

 

Scriptures

            Jeremiah 1:4-10

            Psalm 71:1-12

            1 Corinthians 13:1-13

 

They say confession is good for the soul so I am going to make a confession.  I love Janet Moore!  And Dianne, and Judy, and Wayne and Jim and all that are in this house.  We have learned since our early days of religious education that in Biblical terms “Love” can mean “Eros,” love in a strictly physical relationship; or “Familial,” love in terms of “family,” “blood is thicker than water” kind of love.  And then there is “Agape,” love for each other that is greater than either Eros or Familial love. 

 

So what is Agape Love?  Today’s Lectionary readings include 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, commonly called the “Love Chapter,”  While we are all somewhat familiar with this chapter, I thought it would be interesting to examine the individual verses to see if we can fathom what “Love” is and what it isn’t.  As they say in the Smart Balance commercials; “Something to think about”!

 

13:1 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.


“Speaking in tongues” is generally considered to mean the ability to speak at least two languages; i.e., be a translator.  If a translator has the ability to speak all of the earthly languages as well as being able to converse with heavenly beings, that person has a very valuable asset.  Yet, even with all of these assets, if the translator does not have love, s/he is just a noise-maker; like a gong of clanging cymbal, or a New Year’s Eve noise maker!

 

Rotary International has a four-way test that is appropriate here:

Of the things we think, say or do

  1. Is it the TRUTH?
  2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
  3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
  4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

If our translator, or anyone else, follows these precepts in all s/he does, it will go a long way toward being “Love.” 

 

13:2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

 

“Prophetic powers” are not “magical powers.”   Prophets are those who are cognizant of past and present happenings and, based on these observations, make an accurate prediction of what is likely to be the future.  So a person who has these prophetic powers, understands all mysteries, has all knowledge as well as having faith sufficient to move mountains, but does not have “love,” s/he is “nothing”.

13:3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 

We are often admonished to “give until it hurts!”  But even if we give all that we own; money, house, car, boat, RV, etc.; if we do it grudgingly or to show off, we do not have love.  Even if for some reason we “hand over (our) bodies in order to boast,” we do not have love.  And without love, we are nothing!

 

So far we have discussed admirable traits and abilities that are indications of greatness but these traits and abilities are nothing unless the person having those traits and abilities has love.  Now let’s see what Paul says that love really is.


13:4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.

 

Love is patient.  How patient are we to our spouses?  They say the quickest way to divorce for a newly-wed couple is for one spouse to teach the other how to drive a car.  Shortly after I was married in 1952 I endeavored to teach my bride how to drive using downtown Los Angeles streets.  After one session I hired my neighbor, a professional driving instructor, to teach my wife!  This was not an example of patience, but it was the smart thing to do!

 

But really, how often do we fail to be patient enough to understand where the other person is coming from?  Often people “talk past each other.”  He’s talking about getting the car fixed and she’s talking about getting the cat fixed!  We need to have the patience to make sure we’re on the same page, sometimes by starting the discussion over with a clear understanding of what we are discussing.

 

How about patience with our children?  How many of us respond to our younger children’s question “Why?” by saying “Because I say so!”?  I don’t know where I learned it but after I found myself using the “Because I say so” phrase I learned to say “However, I’ll tell you why I say so” and then proceed to explain the reason for the initial instruction.  A little patience can go a long ways in resolving conflict and those with love will have the patience.

 

Teens are another issue!  However, patience with a lot of love can get one over a lot of humps.  At one point in my life we had eight children in the house ranging in age from four to sixteen.  To compound the matter, half of the kids were teens; one sixteen-year-old and three fourteen-year-olds!  We all survived but I still would not profess to be an expert on teen raising.  I did find that by having the patience to find out where the teen was “coming from” and reasoning with them, we could establish rules that all could live with.  Love is patient.

 

Love is kind.   We are generally kind to our kin and those we know as friends.  But are we kind to to strangers?  Or how about those who hold different views than we do?  Over the years I have had the opportunity to work with professional advocates; politicians and attorneys.  What is very interesting is that when any of these professional advocates are debating with an opponent they can be almost vicious in their attacks against each other.  However, after the debate it is not uncommon to find the “opponents” having a drink together and discussing family matters!  Love is kind in this example as the contenders actually love each other even though their professional advocacy requires debate to get the issues on the table.

 

What is appalling to me is the failure of political supporters to have love or kindness to supporters of the opposition.  How often have we seen opposing groups develop such animosity that there is pushing and shoving which sometimes leads to actual combat.  The animosity lingers even after the actual confrontation is over such that often continuing hatred develops.  This is not kindness nor is it love.  Love would recognize the fact that there is opposition, argue the points and then enjoy the friendship that comes with brotherly love with the agreement to disagree agreeably.

13:5 It (Love) does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

 

The challenge “My way or the highway” is an example of one having their own way; it is not love.  Irritability toward another or resentfulness are not love.  We all have these traits occasionally but if we have love toward others, we need to “get over it!”

13:6 it (Love) does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.

 

While we probably do not rejoice in wrong doing, we sometimes feel good about another’s misfortune, especially when we feel we have been wronged by that person.  This is not love.  Love does not rejoice in untruths, wrong doing nor mishaps to others.

13:7 It (Love) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love is strong and resilient.  When my kids were growing up they would occasionally be faced with a situation where to do the right thing prompted them to say “But that isn’t fair!”  My response was always; “Life’s not fair but you have to be!”  For the most part that motto has stuck with the kids who are now grandparents themselves!  Love falls into that category; life isn’t fair but those with love will treat everyone fairly.

13:8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.

13:9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part;

13:10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end.

 

Love never ends for God is Love!  All other things will pass away but the Love of God will remain forever.  Jesus, by His life, shows us God’s love.  He was patient and kind.  He was not boastful, arrogant nor rude.  And He rejoiced in the truth!

13:11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.

13:12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.

 

We do not know all there is to know about love in the temporal sense and we sure do not know everything about God’s Love!  As Paul says, “now we see...dimly, but then we will see face to face.  Now I know only in part, then I will know fully.”  I am reminded of an incident after I presented a message to this congregation based on Jesus comment that he had other sheep to tend to.  My message suggested that Christians were not the only people God cares for.  Jane Enns asked me afterward how that squares with Jesus saying “No person comes to the Father except by me?”  I said I didn’t know for sure and Jane said; “Well, we’ll find out someday!”  And she’s right; someday, as  Paul says, we will come face to face with God and then we will know the answers to all our questions!

13:13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

 

We must have faith in God through Jesus Christ, our Savior.  Even though the world is in chaos and personal things are not going as we would like, we must have faith that God is with us.  Such faith gives us hope for a better tomorrow, if not in this world, then in the next.  While faith and hope are cornerstones, love is the greatest building block.  Love can conquer almost anything.  And the greatest love ever was shown about 2000 years ago when God loved us so much that he gave his son, Jesus the Christ, as a sacrifice for our sins.

 

As we pass Epiphany, the baptism of Christ, and move toward Lent, which begins on Ash Wednesday, let us be very aware of the love of God as set forth in the sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Love that will never end and is there for us, if we will but accept it.  “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever beliveth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life!”  (John 3:16)

 

Amen